Movies I Watched February 2024

A Clockwork Orange - dir. Stanley Kubrick

Dystopian/Crime

Difficult to watch at points, but mostly just too heavy-handed for my liking. It’s very weird to see Malcolm McDowell as a kid here, but he’s fantastic, even if the dialogue he’s given is extremely goofy. 7/10.

Halloween II - dir. Rob Zombie

Slasher

Decent exploration of trauma with some really remarkable shots, but tremendously held back by some REALLY bad performances.

I liked this a lot more than the first because at least there was more narrative focus. Is Michael Myers still a dumb character? Yeah but at least the majority of the plot isn’t centered around him. There isn’t too much generic slasher shit holding the movie back like its predecessor. 6/10.

Chungking Express - dir. Wong Kar-wai

Romance

Wong Kar-wai movies are about as deep as a Drake lyric but when they hit they hit, no way around it. Like damn brooooo you got pineapples that would expire right on your birthday to symbolize your relationship with your ex expiring… and her name is May… and your birthday is May 1st…. sheeeeeesh…. damn….. so me…..

What I like about Chungking is that on top of that heaping spoonful of philosophical existential lovey dovey misery there’s an attention to detail and routine that fleshes out these characters in such a spellbinding way that it’s impossible NOT to be blown away by the aforementioned Drake-tier moments of metaphor. Like holy shiiiiit… the boarding pass… oh my god… damn girl… fuuuuck.

Also now have Dreams by The Cranberries stuck in my head lol. Fuck this movie. 8/10.

Buffalo 66 - dir. Vincent Gallo

Romance/Drama

Our parents have this uncanny ability to completely fuck us up.

Those making the observation that Billy is a piece of shit are really missing the point. This is a character study, that in my opinion, marvelously succeeds at humanizing someone who at first glance seems like nothing more than a burnout loser with an antisocial streak, but which slowly reveals itself to be a haunting depiction of redemption and love in the face of trauma.

You don’t have to like Billy. You don’t even have to understand him. But to demonize him seems kind of callous to me, somehow. To completely dismiss him as a character is to see the world through apathetic lens. Billy was raised by a mom who cared more about a football team than her own son and by a dad who is plainly coded as a sexual and physical abuser. Does this background excuse Billy’s behavior? Of course not. Does it deepen my understanding of his character and allow me to view the world through his eyes? Of course.

A lot of guys struggle with feeling like their emotions matter. They are terrified of being seen as emotional beings. There’s a moment where Billy asks Layla to hold him, but then as soon as she does he freaks out and tells her not to touch him. Many moments like such exist, not just in this movie but in the life of the abused. Billy can’t accept that Layla would love him unconditionally and as a result he sabotages their relationship constantly. It takes an epiphany to wake him up to the truth, that he doesn’t need his parents’ approval to find joy and love.

The joy I felt at seeing Billy choose love over hatred was unreal. I didn’t expect this movie to have a happy ending but I’m so glad it did.

Solaris - dir. Andrei Tarkovsky

Sci-Fi

Hari is a P-Zombie.

A P-Zombie is a philosophical zombie. The concept of such is meant to put into question what defines consciousness and humanity. The p-zombie looks like a human and acts like a human but whether or not it IS human is unknowable.

The point of this is that EVERYBODY could very well be a p-zombie. I think therefore I am, but as far as you know, you’re the only one who thinks.

This is not mindblowing stuff. It’s pretty basic Philosophy 101. But it’s all I could think about while watching this movie. What do we choose to believe? How do we cope with the unknowable of humanity?

The ending is left ambiguous. Tarkovsky wants us to decide for ourselves.

I think I’ll quote something from the movie, that stuck with my girlfriend too.

“I don’t know if the Ocean sent you to me as a favor or to torture me, but I love you.” 7/10.

Hustlers - dir. Lorene Scafaria

Crime/Comedy

It seems like the cinematography is cool until the camera leaves the club and you realize that these are some very boring shots interlaced with some occasionally creative choices. I like the story, but man is the format annoying. Do we really need to cut to the present every couple of minutes? A simple voiceover would’ve sufficed.

Also, the main actress is kinda meh. J-Lo carries ngl. 4/10.

The Shining - dir. Stanley Kubrick

Psychological Horror

Stephen King keeping the competition scarce by writing books about writers going insane or writers being tortured. Gotta respect the hustle.

Tony was the kid’s subconscious. That much is clear to me. He served as the conduit between his Shining and his waking self. I think there are also tons of clues throughout the movie that Danny’s parents both had the Shining as well. Jack and Wendy both see visions of past events. You could chalk it up to insanity but I find that explanation trite. I consider it more likely that the entire family experiences the Shining phenomenon, and because of the hotel’s supernatural aura, their subconscious is more highly attuned to their surroundings. Jack sees past versions of himself, which to me also function as past incarnations of masculinity, throughout the generations. The photo of him in the 20’s depicts his full absorption into the hotel’s phantasmal presence. 8/10.

His Motorbike, Her Island - dir. Nobuhiko Obayashi

Romance

Brimming with life, youth, energy, love, passion. Jubilation in a film. I haven’t felt this joyful about a movie in a long time.

The music specifically is what won me over, I think. I loved what I was seeing but the nostalgic Japanese city pop adds a layer of reminiscence that colors the story with longing and youthful bliss. I am head over heels for the world Obayashi has created here. 10/10.

West Beirut - dir. Ziad Doueiri

Coming-of-Age/War

Very grim, yet poignant juxtaposition of civil war with adolescence, so I have to give this film a lot of credit for giving its audience a window into Lebanon’s past. I respect it a lot, especially because the young actors really sold me on their awkward juvenility. They actually felt like teenagers.

That’s where my praise ends, though. It has a very promising first half, with fast-paced, clever dialogue that sucks you into the mentality of its central character, but the wheels fall off once May gets introduced. Her presence annoyed me because she was a pretty huge part of the story, what with her being a Christian orphan in a mostly Muslim enclave of Beirut, but she gets like zero presence at all. The only thing she does is occasionally reply to the main characters but for the most part she’s like window dressing.

There’s this one moment where she FINALLY has some agency, and we get to see her declare a sidequest (use her Christiandom to travel to East Beirut so that the boys can develop their film), and I was HYPED to see it play out. But no instead we cut to the two boys arguing and when we get back to her she’s just playing piano in another shop?? I dunno man her whole character is so laughably void of all presence that it kind of makes me mad.

So much of this movie is just unrealized potential, and May happens to be the biggest symptom of this problem. That being said, I found it to be an impressive feat of filmmaking, and it’s pretty much exactly my kind of thing, so I was still able to enjoy it. 6/10.

The Royal Tenenbaums - dir. Wes Anderson

Comedy/Drama

Wes Anderson is the epitome of white lol this is just embarrassing. Pretty hard at this point, having watched over half his filmography, that he’s an unwittingly racist creator without much respect for non-white characters. Damn near all of them are boring, background fodder that only serve as accessories to white characters.

But honestly who cares, right? If the movie’s good, I really couldn’t give less of a shit about its painfully white-centric characterizations. Unfortunately it isn’t. It’s like a less interesting version of The Meyerowitz Stories. Royal is a decent character and I enjoyed watching him but I didn’t care for the rest. Wasn’t invested at all.

It’s a bummer because this is one of those movies that’s been hyped to me for years and years. My ex-girlfriend called it her favorite movie, and it’s been cited as one of Anderson’s best by many. I found it to be kind of insufferable. 4/10.

The Zone of Interest - dir. Jonathan Glazer

Slice-of-Life/War

I’m Jewish btw so pretty much everything I’m about to say is gospel and if you disagree with me you’re anti-semitic (fact).

Could’ve easily been a short film instead but for what it is it executes its themes and mission statement well. The banality of evil, the way fascist systems not only hurt the oppressed but psychologically tarnish the oppressors, it’s all solid. We’re basically seeing slice-of-life with a concentration camp in the background, and these boring nothing scenes function well towards executing the horror of the ordinary. The psychological disconnect required to shut your brain off of the screams and gunshots in earshot.

All of this is well-done except realistically the movie didn’t have to drag the point out without building on it for almost an hour and a half. I would’ve easily gotten the point after about twenty minutes but it seems like the trend these days is to inflate your script and movie for no reason so I have to realize at some point that I’m in the minority and the vast majority of people enjoy having their time wasted. Personally not for me.

There is a pretty cool shot near the end involving a peephole and a dark tunnel but this to me felt ham-fisted and tonally off compared to the rest of the film. Like the dude retching was a gripping visual and I guess we’re supposed to infer that maybe he subconsciously realizes the system he’s participating in is evil but it feels ham-fisted to me. Especially considering that we are never given any indication that he would feel even the slightest morsel of guilt up to that point. It’s very much just out of the blue and random and like most modern cinema I guess I’m expected to just pretend it didn’t come out of nowhere and that it was actually very deep and smart.

The idea is very much there but the execution leaves me baffled. I liked this movie but the reception to it is corny.

Again, if you disagree with anything I’ve just said, you are 100% anti-semitic and this is an inarguable fact.

Full Metal Jacket - dir. Stanley Kubrick

War

Vincent D’Onofrio carries lol, boot camp section of the movie just goes way harder and feels more unique to Kubrick than any of the Vietnam section. Cringed at some of the Vietnamese characters and found most of the war stuff to be fairly generic.

There was potential to tell a story of a journalist soldier compromising their ethical code but there’s just never any follow-through on that angle. The full extent of the movie’s depth begins and ends with Leonard being pushed by his sergeant (and squad) into full-blown sociopathy, and even then it feels like a totally different movie because really none of it matters once we move the story to Vietnam.

Just kind of a letdown. 6/10.

A Cure for Wellness - dir. Gore Verbinski

Sci-Fi/Psychological Horror

Wants to be A24 sooooooo bad 3/10.

The Killer - dir. David Fincher

Thriller

Wish this did more for me because I fucked heavily with Fassbender in this role and I feel he almost singlehandedly made me like this movie. Unfortunately it just didn’t build towards anything, and any suspense created from the first sequence evaporated over the course of its runtime. The movie just sort of happens without much in the way of a through-line. 6/10.

Ace in the Hole - dir. Billy Wilder

Black Comedy

Had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. What a sick, twisted, darkly hilarious movie. Absolutely airtight script that, like the victim in its premise, leaves you with little room to breathe. Kirk Douglas further cements himself as one of the classic GOATs. I both rooted for him and also wanted to punch him in the face repeatedly.

Exploitation, exploitation, exploitation. The media circus never ends. Peril twisted into the 50’s equivalent of clickbait. 9/10.

Eyes Wide Shut - dir. Stanley Kubrick

Erotic Thriller

The disintegration of a marriage remedied by real, honest-to-god intimacy. Tom Cruise is one of my favorite actors of all time. He’s got a knack for playing these sociopathic mirages of maleness, while underlining the cracks in their armor, that slowly widen as his characters unravel. Obviously he’s done a lot of generic action schlock but when he’s given a multi-layered character he fully sells them.

Don’t know if I love this film as much as I thought it would. Still a great movie ofc but I wish it went a little more crazy with the surrealism. Honestly felt toned-down compared to what I was expecting. That’s on me though. I’m a fucking degenerate.

Wild ride it’s been, going through Kubrick’s work. I’ve come to appreciate the filmmaker far more than I ever did prior. He bored me when I was younger and dumber but I get it now. I’ve seen the light. 8/10.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - dir. Wes Anderson

Adventure/Comedy

Reminds me of why I ever liked Wes Anderson in the first place. It’s difficult to put into words because I have a love-hate relationship with his style but in summary I adore the way he toys with nostalgia. The Life Aquatic is thematically similar to a story I’m developing in that it’s about an older, washed-up, has-been trying to reclaim their glory days. In fact it’s basically identical lol. It makes sense that I enjoy this movie so much because these are some of my favorite types of stories. Older people turning their life around is too fire.

It also helps that this features some of my favorite setpieces in all of Anderson’s work. I think I watched Blue Planet about thirty times when I was a kid and my love for the ocean and its wildlife has never left my being. Steve Zissou put me right back in the shoes of that carefree kid who only cared about reptiles, fish, bugs, and other creepy-crawlies. I wish I’d never become an art hoe and just committed fully to being a little herpetologically inclined autistic freak but that’s neither here nor there. 7/10.

Blue Jasmine - dir. Woody Allen

Comedy/Drama

Goddamn I have just been watching non-stop bangers. This is amazing. I almost feel guilty for giving out so many positive ratings but like fuck it right if we ball we ball.

Honest to god this might be a 9/10. I’m not sure. I might bump it in the future, I might not. All I know is that this movie really won me over in a way I just wasn’t expecting.

I’ve always respected Woody Allen’s instincts as a filmmaker even if I haven’t connected as much with the movies of his I’ve seen (Sleeper and Annie Hall). I think he has a real talent for picking up on everyday neuroses and relationship dynamics, and pulling fantastic performances out of his actors. The final scene between Jasmine and Hal actually had me tearing up a bit. Cate Blanchett is a tour de force. It goes without saying but she left me dazzled. So much nuance. So much pride. So much work put into walking the tightrope between low and high status. At once she’s an arrogant trophy wife and in the same breath she turns into a nervous wreck. Oddly a very relatable character even for me.

I love how this film humanizes its characters. Nobody is evil, nobody is pure, they’re all just… well, they’re human. They have huge flaws but in almost every scene I could understand where everybody was coming from. Chili, for example, could be simplified as a brute, and he’s got his moments of out-of-control anger but he’s still obviously a good dude who loves Ginger.

The ending is pretty heartbreaking too, leaving the audience to decide amongst themselves whether or not they think Jasmine will land on her feet or not. Personally I don’t think she will. But I hope she does. I really do. 8/10.

Reservoir Dogs - dir. Quentin Tarantino

Crime

Nothing too special. Tarantino’s first feature shows teasers for elements of his style that he would further develop down the line, like his trademark bantering dialogue and affinity for violence and non-chronological storytelling, but the movie doesn’t do much for me. Can’t really put my finger on it but it just doesn’t make me feel very much. The most I was invested in the entire movie was when the guys were analyzing Like A Virgin by Madonna. 5/10.

Clash - dir. Mohamed Diab

Political Drama

Encapsulates the chaos of political unrest with sickeningly jarring camera movements and an intensely claustrophobic set. I wasn’t super invested in the characters but as a cinematic experience this is very fucking intense. 6/10.

Gummo - dir. Harmony Korine

Experimental

Confidently teeters on a tightrope between exploitation and observation. Some of the reactions to this movie are very mean-spirited to me, lacking in the empathy that Korine approaches his subject with. The content is disturbing but not in the fetishistic way that a lot of middle and upper class film nerds might think.

To state that this is a portrait of white trash rural malaise is missing the full picture. To me this is more a story about grief, both on a macro, communal scale and on a personal, individual level.

Realistically not a lot of small, impoverished towns are like this. Xenia, Ohio, is explicitly stated to be recovering from a devastatingly large tornado that destroyed their infrastructure. Without backing, the town was unable to rebuild and festered. So no, these are not just your average white trash freaks or whatever sheltered losers want you to think, these are specifically people recovering from the wrath of God (that’s the metaphor I think Korine was getting at). Adults getting drunk, losing touch with their own children. Kids hunting cats for sport, sniffing glue to cope. It’s very depressing but it’s specifically a coping mechanism.

I started this review thinking I’d give the movie a 7/10 but as I was dissecting it in my brain I realized that it left me with a lot to chew on. Sometimes it felt like aimless imagery, but that imagery very precisely conveyed to me a cry for help. These kids, these adults, they’ve been left to rot up shit’s creek by the government. They’ve lost parents, kids, pets, houses, you fucking name it. And collectively they’re miring in their grief, tragically being pulled into the cyclone of misery like the very disaster that tore their lives apart to begin with. 8/10.

Faults - dir. Riley Stearns

Psychological Thriller

Wanted to see this so I could complete Riley Stearns’ filmography. He’s a newer director that’s intrigued me for a good while. Faults doesn’t really hold a candle to his next film, though. It really feels like a debut, and not in a good way. Tonally, Stearns is unsure and jumbled. His shots lack vision and often feel contrived. The dialogue isn’t quite unnatural enough to play into his trademark cold style but isn’t natural enough to feel believable. 4/10.

The Devil Queen - dir. Antonio Carlos da Fontoura

Queer/Crime

Queer Brazilian cinema. For any of my followers who are interested, I can provide a link. Confusing plot and muddled characters, but if you really wanna see a trans bitch run a gang this is the shit right here. Don’t feel comfortable giving this a rating because this is 100% not for me lmao and I feel it would be more appreciated by its target audience, the queer community.

The Red Turtle - dir. Michael Dudok de Wit

Fantasy

Manic pixie dream turtle right here. 10/10 would absolutely fuck a former turtle depending on how hot the human turned out to be.

Breathtaking animation but I could just never take the story seriously. Bro took his son to the exact place he almost drowned at and was shocked when his kid nearly died? What the fuck were you expecting?

Also what kind of message is this sending to kids? If you kill a turtle you get a bad bitch? The fuck man. Morally abhorrent movie.

All jokes aside this movie is cute. And that’s good enough. 6/10.

Pulp Fiction - dir. Quentin Tarantino

Crime/Comedy

Very fire script but that’s about it. Samuel L Jackson is a god man. Just some of the funniest lines ever and it only works because he’s got the sauce. 7/10.

Stalker - dir. Andrei Tarkovsky

Sci-Fi

Faith vs Cynicism vs Logic. Nothing I say about this film will be new but it took me two hours to realize what this movie was trying to say and let me tell you that was one of the best feelings ever. Nothing quite like bashing your head against what seems like an impenetrable wall of philosophical stone until you finally break your brain down into seeing the light. 8/10.

Fallen Angels - dir. Wong Kar-wai

Crime/Romance

Great vibes. I like the voiceover a lot. Some of the lines here are very funny. Wong Kar-wai is great at conveying atmosphere but I almost never connect to his films beyond visual appreciation. 7/10.

Ashes of Time - dir. Wong Kar-wai

Wuxia/Romance

Pretty but I didn’t care about anything. 4/10.

Reflections of a Blender - dir. André Klotzal

Black Comedy

A really stupid movie that’s only elevated by what is admittedly a very creative premise. Though the idea of a sentient blender is never fleshed out or expanded on, it’s still cool and I wanna give that props. There is soul here even if this whole idea could’ve been condensed into a 10 minute short. 4/10.

Jackie Brown - dir. Quentin Tarantino

Crime

Loving homage from Tarantino to Blaxploitation cinema. I watched the documentary Badassss Cinema a couple years ago and learning about Pam Grier’s career helped me appreciate this film more. She’s got it, man. She’s still got it. Undeniably charismatic and effortlessly cool. It’s a decent watch for sure, if only to see a movie star be a movie star. 6/10.

Open Your Eyes - dir. Alejandro Amenábar

Sci-Fi/Psychological Thriller

Difficult to write a review for this movie because I watched and loved the remake, Vanilla Sky, when I was younger, and I don’t remember it well enough to compare both versions. Vanilla Sky undoubtedly had the bigger impact on me but I was also much younger so I don’t know if that means it’s better or if I’m just more jaded now. Either way this was still a good movie, I just don’t know if it blew my mind. 7/10.

On the Waterfront - dir. Elia Kazan

Crime/Romance

Laughably corny and full of tropes that make me roll my eyes. Any moral complexity is drowned out by how two-dimensional everybody is by the end. Terry is Jesus, martyr of the longshoremen. Johnny Friendly is a mustache-twirling villain akin to Hopper from Bug’s Life. Edie is a pure good woman who only exists as a carrot on the stick for Terry to pursue. 5/10.

C’mon C’mon - dir. Mike Mills

Slice-of-Life

This movie has such a good heart.

It’s so earnest and kind and patient. Like a warm hug from a kind uncle. Like a kiss on the cheek from your grandmother.

Audio as a means of preserving serendipity in perpetuity. I used to be an audio journalist. Ever since I was 13 I loved recording. Conversations, sounds, songs, interviews, MOMENTS. For my thirteenth birthday, my parents couldn’t afford to give me a big Bar Mitzvah, but they did buy me a microphone, which I still use to this day.

I used to record interviews with my friends. I would cut them up, add in jazz music, call it an amateur podcast, and let them sit on my drive. I never did anything with them.

Back in my sophomore year of community college, I got involved with the student newspaper. This was right around the time Russia invaded Ukraine, and my assignment was to go to a local protest and get some interviews. A colleague and I went with a camera and a microphone and I used these interviews to create a small audio piece, which is still one of my proudest artistic achievements to date.

Audio is powerful. I kept voice diaries from time to time throughout my life. Sometimes I go back and listen to myself talk at sixteen years old. Five years ago. It’s a long time. So much has changed. So much stayed the same. I can’t help but cringe at who I was. And yet even the bad times I wish to relive.

This film humanizes everyone. Kids. Moms. Dads. It loves people. It will stay with me for a long time. I may even up my score some day. I don’t know.

I really love this movie. I think it’s one of the most likable I’ve ever seen. 9/10.

Deathproof - dir. Quentin Tarantino

Revenge/Action

So fun. So badass. One of those movies that just made me grin from ear to ear. Although I kinda wish we got to see more of Jungle Julia. And it’s sad that Mary Elizabeth Winstead didn’t get to participate in the ass-whooping of Stuntman Mike. 7/10.

Babylon - dir. Damien Chazelle

Historical/Black Comedy

A script that is so worthless it can barely stand up on its own without the crutches of a few million dollars in bloated, obnoxious setpieces. Wasted money, wasted talent, wasted time. All that effort and what you get is constant noise without payoff and all the earnestness of a second-rate Marvel gag. 3/10.

Leonor Will Never Die - dir. Martika Ramirez Escobar

Surreal/Action

Cool concept but it didn’t connect with me at all. I found the universe of the movie impenetrable and emotionally disconnected, which is weird because the story is objectively emotional. The film did make me want to watch old Filipino action movies though, so I guess that’s an accomplishment.

Django Unchained - dir. Quentin Tarantino

Western

I get it. It’s Inglorious Basterds for slavery. There is an inherent satisfaction to seeing a slave take revenge on his masters. Where I feel this movie fails is in how it meanders and stumbles. There were entire sequences that felt totally unnecessary and only served to pad the runtime of the film. And some of the acting here is abysmal. Jonah Hill and Quentin Tarantino cannot pull off serious roles, man, sorry. What the fuck is this shit?

Some good stuff here but for the most part it’s in desperate need of a rewrite. 5/10.

Tales from the Hood - dir. Rusty Cundieff

A Black goth work friend of mine recommended this to me a while ago and I finally got around to watching it, and I can 100% see why this had a huge impact on him as a kid. It’s got a really charming aura to it and I especially love the mortician character (literally reminds me of my buddy lol). I just wish the acting in these anthology stories was better man, especially the story about Walter. With better actors this could’ve been a banger. 4/10.

The Nice Guys - dir. Shane Black

I keep trying to watch this movie but I can’t do it. It’s so boring lmao

3/10.

All of Us Strangers - dir. Andrew Haigh

Reminiscent of a better Andrew Haigh movie, Weekend. This literally just feels like a bigger budget version. It’s not terrible by any stretch; I thought it had a genuinely kind spirit and I respect that in a film, but it still felt shallow and cliche. Almost every conversation here has been done better in other movies. 5/10.

The Hateful Eight - dir. Quentin Tarantino

Actually seems like a rare Tarantino film of substance until he just can’t help himself and starts narrating for no good reason. Pretty much immediately took me out of the movie and I had a hard time taking it seriously after that.

But I will say that this feels like his most substantive effort ever. It doesn’t ever say anything cogent but I thought there was some subtle commentary about post-Civil War, reconstructionist America. If this is the theme, it’s pretty stupid given that we get a scene of Warren admitting he “misjudged” Mannix (not vice versa). I guess it’s trying to be like “oh look man we’re both a couple of bastards we ain’t so different” which just makes me laugh.

Excellent dialogue, for the most part. Samuel L Jackson’s monologue about dick-sucking is pretty solid but there’s no way somebody in the 1800’s would refer to his cock as a ‘big black dingus’. Just Tarantino getting way too excited about the opportunity to think about Black dicks and letting it seep into his script. He commits with set design and costumes and, for the most part, character work, but he just cannot stop himself from dropping in a line that utterly decimates the suspension of disbelief.

He has this tendency to constantly try to remind you that you’re watching a movie without letting his work speak for itself. Sometimes it can work, sometimes it’s just annoying. Here it was the latter.

I actually respect Tarantino a lot as a filmmaker. I don’t think his films have any substance so I would never call him an all-timer but he makes fun movies and he knows his shit as a cinephile. I enjoy his interviews and I would probably have both my nuts shot off a la Warren to get a chance to be in his final movie.

Despite a relatively low score I would still consider this generous, and a token of my respect for him. 6/10.

Good Boy - dir. Viljar Bøe

Extremely funny movie. 2/10.

The Artist - dir. Michel Hazanavicius

Period Piece

Gotta respect how much it commits to feeling like a movie made in the silent era (not that I would know lol just vibes) but there was almost no way this was ever going to connect with me. 5/10.

The Boy and the Wind - dir. Carlos Hugo Christensen

Courtroom Drama/Queer

The paint drying fandom will fuck heavy with this. 3/10.

Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood - dir. Quentin Tarantino

Comedy/Historical

Scratching my head on this one. My parents walked out of the theater back when it came out they hated it so much. A couple of my friends think this is Tarantino’s magnum opus. And I’m just thinking… really? There’s nothing truly awful or outstanding here. It’s just fine.

Stuff gets brought up without ever any payoff. Nothing ever really matters in this movie. I have nothing against plotless movies but it annoys me when stuff happens in a movie that just doesn’t matter. When things are just hollow mediums for moments.

If you like drowning in nostalgia without any substance, you will like this movie.

I still give it a pretty generous 5/10 score because I thought DiCaprio and Pitt were able to elevate the middling script on sauce alone. Hard to hate two guys clearly having the time of their lives. 5/10.

Pusher - dir. Nicolas Winding-Refn

Crime/Thriller

Nicolas Winding-Refn is so good at taking simple plots and elevating them with expert camera work. What could’ve easily been a generic crime narrative is transformed into a character study through guerrilla handheld cinematography and a nuanced, troubled performance from Kim Bodnia, who is able to transform this tracksuit-wearing macho drug dealer into a frazzled, psychologically decimated husk. With such a strong debut from Winding-Refn, it makes me excited to watch the rest of his work. 7/10.

Hairspray - dir. John Waters

Comedy/Music

Shocked at how much I enjoyed this movie. A lot of white savior nonsense but I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face the whole time. Watched it for my girlfriend’s queer film studies class and fully expected the campiness to be grating but I found it charming, sweet, and actually funny. 6/10.

Happy Together - dir. Wong Kar-wai

Romance/Drama

One of Wong Kar-wai’s most focused efforts yet. Has a lot of urgency that his other films sometimes lack. There were some truly terrific shots here, like the shot of Fai and Chang through the peephole, which made me think about the circular nature of toxic relationships and how we tend to repeat our most tantalizing mistakes many times. The shot also breaks the fourth wall, inviting us to feel helpless as we watch Fai fail to open his heart up to somebody who actually treats him well. It’s wonderful stuff. 7/10.

Nosferatu the Vampyre - dir. Werner Herzog

Gothic Horror

Honestly impressive how little of a fuck I gave about this movie.

Starts off with a pretty foreboding atmosphere but goes nowhere interesting or disturbing. There were a couple of creepy shots but I could never take this goofy ass vampire seriously.

Guy playing Renfield did a great job because I wanted to punch him in the face. So annoying. 3/10.

Bleeder - dir. Nicolas Winding-Refn

Drama/Crime

Bummer how Refn goes from a kinetic banger in Pusher to something so meandering and unfocused. I actually have no issues with the more subconscious approach Refn would move towards later on in his work (a la Only God Forgives) but Bleeder fails to have much of a pulse that defines those more psychedelic experiences. 4/10.

What Happened Was… - dir. Tom Noonan

Mumblecore

It’ll stay with me for a long time. I want to rewatch this when I’m middle-aged, because even though I am probably far too young to fully understand what these two isolated souls are going through, the psychological brilliance of the script blew me away and punched me right in the gut.

“I just want someone to tell me what to do.”

God. What a magical fucking movie. It’s so hard to open up even though you want to so badly. These two have no chemistry but they ache to break past the awkwardness, to combat the loneliness of the city and the mind.

That scene where Jackie reads her story to Michael was dreamlike in execution. I unironically felt like I was asleep in the best way possible. It punctured right into my subconscious.

I expected this to be good but not THIS good. 9/10.

Velvet Buzzsaw - dir. Dan Gilroy

Satire/Horror

Looks like shit. Unenthusiastic performances from everyone involved. Just looks and feels like tackiest shit ever. 2/10.

Frances Ha - dir. Noah Baumbach

Comedy/Drama

Relatable, no doubt. But never anything more than charming. The film has a solid rhythm, but it lacks a crescendo to tie it all together. The characters are very annoying but they feel believably pretentious given that the setting is artsy New York. I like this movie, I just feel like there are a bunch of other films that do this whole “figuring your shit out in your twenties” thing better. 7/10.

Fear X - dir. Nicolas Winding-Refn

Surreal/Thriller

Simply does not go far enough in any direction to leave much of an impact. It has a promising first act, with rock-solid characterization and an impeccably eerie, uncanny mystery set up through blurry photos and security footage. I was hoping this film would get progressively more unearthly as it plodded along but instead it’s your standard police procedural story with occasional dreamy sequences to remind you that this is, indeed, a Nicolas Winding-Refn movie.

John Turturro is a phenomal actor so it’s a shame he’s given very little to work with. No natural climax to his story arc so there’s not much he can do besides look vaguely sad from beginning to end. The plot just doesn’t build anywhere.

With all that said, the reason I give this movie a generous 5/10 score is because, perhaps shallowly, I fucked with the vibe. If nothing else, Refn knows how to craft a vibe. 5/10.

The Darjeeling Limited - dir. Wes Anderson

Adventure/Comedy

Honestly this movie surpassed my expectations. Given my track record with Wes Anderson and my critique of his portrayals of non-white characters, I was very certain that this movie would be his worst yet. Three rich white brothers go on a spiritual journey through India? Yeesh. Eat Pray Love type shit right there man.

Where it won me over was not in its portrayal of India (it’s pretty bad in that aspect, I won’t lie, nothing new there from Wes lol he still can’t help being insufferably white) but in its vulnerability and in its depiction of the brothers as characters. As an older brother myself I found this movie connecting with me on a slightly deeper level than other Wes films. It’s not brilliant or life-changing or even subtle but it’s got an emotional resonance to it that I can’t deny. 6/10.

Pusher II - dir. Nicolas Winding-Refn

Crime/Thriller

Tough to watch an hour and a half of Tonny being chided and belittled by everyone around him, but it works in making him a rootable underdog who sucks at everything and hasn’t the street smarts to save his life. By far my favorite scene was when he was at the wedding reception, and his own father was just publicly making a mockery out of him. I hope Tonny gets his shit together. Poor guy. 6/10.

So Long, My Son - dir. Wang Xiaoshuai

Drama

The last thirty minutes are reflective, crushing, and yet tragically optimistic. The road to get there is more than a little tiresome, though. I don’t begrudge the movie for its length, I only wish the chronology was less sporadically broken up. For what it is, as a rumination on the changing socioeconomic landscape of contemporary China, it’s emotionally informative. 7/10.

Next Goal Wins - dir. Taika Waititi

Comedy/Sports

As a society we need to stop pretending that Taika Waititi is a good filmmaker. 2/10.

Pusher III - dir. Nicolas Winding-Refn

Crime/Thriller

A gruesome sequence towards the end does not make the laborious and tedious buildup worthwhile. I like when NWR goes a little crazier with his imagery and Pusher 3 felt like his most muted effort yet. Milo is a good character, reminiscent of Tony Soprano, but I felt his fall from grace was too fast and too circumstantial. Many of his decisions feel rushed and unearned. As a finale to a trilogy, I’m just not seeing it come together. 5/10.

Fantastic Mr. Fox - dir. Wes Anderson

Heist/Comedy

For a kids movie it’s pretty good. The allegory for autism was corny as fuck but I guess Ash is relatable or whatever. Definitely doesn’t hit as hard as it did when I was like 10 years old. I’m kind of perplexed by its classic status but I guess if you’re 15 and you’ve never seen a movie about a guy going through a midlife crisis this seems like some really revolutionary, eye-opening stuff. 7/10.

Rafiki - dir. Wanuri Kahiu

Romance

Sorry about this one. I badly wanted to love this movie just off the aesthetic and premise, but the performances and writing were so cliche that I found myself actually laughing out loud at some of the more serious moments.

One of those movies that I recommend to my lesbian followers but for me personally this just didn’t work. 4/10.

Robot Dreams - dir. Pablo Berger

Slice-of-Life

It’s cute and has some banger musical choices but no way in hell did this need to be an hour forty lol. I started checking out about an hour in. I gotta know how this dog pays rent because there’s no way bro has a cute little apartment in New York without working full-time.

Extra credit for its interpolation of September. That almost got me.

I’m probably too old for this. Or too much of an asshole? Both equally likely. 4/10.

Sanctuary - dir. Zachary Wigon

Erotic Thriller

Not nearly as demented as I wish it was. Sanctuary takes a lot of what I love about the erotic thriller and kind of waters it down. The movie is begging to be sweaty and surreal and it almost gets to those places through the magnificent work that Christopher Abbott and Margaret Qualley do but the movie doesn’t take those swings. I sent this movie to my acting teacher though because the philosophical musings of this movie on the nature of reality, truth, and vulnerability are exactly the kinds of things we’d discuss in class. I think this is a must-watch for other actors, but nobody else. 6/10.

Nine to Five - dir. Colin Higgins

Comedy

Very fun movie. Lily Tomlin and Dolly Parton are legit hilarious here. Saw this in theaters with my girlfriend for Valentine’s Day and that definitely added to the experience. 7/10.

Valhalla Rising - dir. Nicolas Winding-Refn

Fantasy/Historical

VERY boring. 3/10.

The Tale - dir. Jennifer Fox

Drama

Not my thing at all. Felt too artificial and cheesy. 4/10.

My Own Private Idaho - dir. Gus Van Sant

Road

I find myself often drawn to the question of human nature now more than ever before. Maybe it’s getting older, maybe it’s the fact that it seems like everything is shrouded in darkness and pessimism, maybe it’s just that I’ve been watching too many movies.

I argue about human nature with one of my good friends, Diana. She’s a trans chick and, likely as a byproduct, is extremely cynical about human nature. Frankly I can’t really convince her otherwise, nor would I expect to. I can’t change her mind because it seems a lot of our outlook as people is heavily informed by our roots and our fates. My Own Private Idaho is a movie that aims to explore these ideas. Not always very cleanly or effectively, but with emotional outpouring and melodrama.

Mike spends his time meandering aimlessly through existence while searching for his roots to give him a sense of purpose, which he lacks. His sexuality is fraught and difficult, more so due to his narcolepsy than his gay crush on his best friend, who dabbles in that same purposelessness but ultimately escapes it by virtue of fitting into the more traditional and privileged role, that of the noble heir. Where Mike is without roots and without purpose and suffers as a result, Scott HAS clearly defined origins and a fate he’s known of since birth. He’s destined to inherit his father’s wealth and prestige and there’s no way around that.

That’s not to say that Scott doesn’t suffer, but his suffering is of a different nature than that of Mike’s. It’s the suffering of inevitability. There’s security in the inevitable but it’s crushing. I think it’s heavily implied by the end that Scott deeply envies the street rats he left behind, their careless abandon and (sometimes) joyfully nihilistic lives. He stares at their funeral next to his own stiff, formal affair in longing and wistfulness. He embraces security but aches for sexual and emotional freedom.

Much time is spent in Mike’s memories, which to me is an attempt to illustrate how much Mike wishes he could hold on to those fragments of his foundation. His narcolepsy could even be seen as his body’s subconscious desire to dream in order to reclaim lost memories, a trauma response that underlines the nature of humans to hold on to stories and recollections. 8/10.

Kids Return - dir. Takeshi Kitano

Coming-of-Age/Sports

You can’t reach your ambition without taking the scenic route. The shortcut is tempting but it’ll backfire. Kids Return is a very inventive spin on the coming-of-age formula, and the themes only came together in my head when I saw the final shot of the comedian duo performing. The whole movie they’ve been failing to get laughs and then it’s almost like they finally got it together in the background, which is what ambition looks like. It’s not cinematic grandiosity, it’s just quiet, consistent work, until someday you’re better off than where you started.

Terrific soundtrack too.

Thank you to my girlfriend for recommending me this movie. 8/10.

The Neon Demon - dir. Nicolas Winding-Refn

Psychological Horror

Yo guys maybe WOMEN are the real patriarchs?

Really stupid stuff. Not sure what the fuck NWR was cooking here. I want to be generous and say that maybe the film is saying that women under the pressure of patriarchy turn to violence or something but I think I’m gonna go with Occam’s razor and assume the simpler interpretation; that this is a long-winded rant about the evils of plastic surgery and LA influencer culture.

If it is the former, I still think the whole thing feels awkward and stiff. There were moments here where if you took away the fancy lighting I would not be entirely convinced I wasn’t watching a student film.

If it’s the latter then I just have to roll my eyes. You’re gonna make a movie about the evil of the modeling industry and the main villains are a bunch of stuck-up supermodels and a spurned lesbian? Really?

Anybody who says that this is actually a really subtle feminist banger is lying to themselves. It’s fine. Just say you enjoy bisexual lighting and techno music and move on. 2/10.

Girlfight - dir. Karyn Kusama

Coming-of-Age/Sports

A solid homage to Rocky from a feminist angle. Karyn Kusama similarly approaches her subject with honesty and empathy to create a moving character study of a young woman hardened by trauma and softened by boxing. It runs a little long and features some cliche moments but I’m a sucker for this kind of movie.

Moonrise Kingdom - dir. Wes Anderson

Romance/Adventure

Would’ve been my favorite movie of all time when I was 12.

Some magical moments here that live up to the hype but for the most part the dialogue has me rolling my eyes. Hideously quirky shit. Like all of Wes Anderson’s other work, painfully caucasian. I feel like some of the melanin left my body watching this.

Still, it’s cute. 5/10.

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret - dir. Kelly Fremon Craig

Coming-of-Age

Mickey Mouse shit right here.

Love Judy Blume but hell nah. 1/10.

Æon Flux - dir. Karyn Kusama

Dystopian Sci-Fi/Action

I actually like how bizarre it is but the action just isn’t that good idk. 2/10.

Repulsion - dir. Roman Polanski

Psychological Horror

The response to Polanski films has and will always be very funny to me. People feel the need to let everyone know that they find him detestable before they go on to dickride one of his movies. Newsflash, nobody cares.

What I find interesting about Repulsion is that it feels a lot like a precursor to Rosemary’s Baby but laughably inferior in every way. Sexual trauma is a subject that is broached in this film but never given much actual elaboration. We are essentially subjected to the same scene ad nauseam, constantly, on loop. For a film that aims to be a character study, there is actually very little that I could tell you about Deneuve’s Carol beyond the fact that she is deathly afraid of men.

I already hear the counterargument; she’s supposed to be that way. She’s SUPPOSED to be repressed and unknowable. And sure, while I see the rationale, I feel the aim of a character study should be to explore past the repression, to see what dimensions lie beneath, instead of simply regurgitating the same scenes and ideas repeatedly.

Nevertheless, I still did appreciate some of the shot compositions, as well as a few of the more outwardly horror moments. 5/10.

Jennifer’s Body - dir. Karyn Kusama

Teen Comedy/Horror

Diablo Cody working overtime to ruin this. She did her best to fuck it up but honestly I still thought this was a fun time. Feel like this would hit harder if I was a hot bi woman. The whole movie feels like an allegory for that coming-of-age experience, though its execution is obviously very campy. 6/10.

Drunks - dir. Peter Cohn

Mumblecore

What you see is what you get. That’s not to say it’s a bad movie, it just doesn’t do anything I didn’t expect. You see good actors perform good monologues. You get an empathetic, patient look at alcoholism and drug abuse from all kinds of demographic and steps of recovery. You get what you came for, but nothing revolutionary. 6/10.

Dallas Buyers Club - dir. Jean-Marc Vallée

Historical

Shot like an episode of The Office (derogatory). 4/10.

Destroyer - dir. Karyn Kusama

Neo-Noir

Struggling to understand the point of this movie. Some baffling directorial decisions. Casting Nicole Kidman as a grizzled cop doesn’t work for me. She doesn’t look or feel believable at all. Some of the line deliveries here are so funny, too. It honestly feels like a student film in its presentation and blocking. So strange. 3/10.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl - dir. Gore Verbinski

Adventure/Fantasy

They just don’t make blockbusters like they used to. Don’t let the 3 stars fool you, this was an undeniably fun experience and I’m glad my girlfriend finally forced me to get into this series because it’s kind of incredible to see what a big setpiece blockbuster can look like with artistic vision instead of corporate shitfuckery. 6/10.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest - dir. Gore Verbinski

Adventure/Fantasy

Cool movie but a huge step down from the first just because it literally does not have a satisfying third act. 5/10.

The Peanut Butter Falcon - dir. Tyler Nilson

Road

One of my favorite authors is Carl Hiaasen, not really for his literary ability but for his devotion towards carving out the niche of Florida-core; swampy, batshit crazy, humanistic stories about weirdos and kooks fighting against corruption and scumfuckery. The Peanut Butter Falcon doesn’t have quite that zany edge, but it reminds me of Hiaasen in everything but.

It’s EXTREMELY difficult for me to hate this movie. I teared up during a couple of scenes and it’s got such a pure, warm heart. Zak, to me, never feels like a caricature. Might be patronizing to say this but I’m just happy that a dude with down syndrome got the chance to star in a movie. 7/10.

Chocolat - dir. Lasse Hellström

Period Piece

I could not give a single fuck about this movie. 2/10.

The Watermelon Woman - dir. Cheryl Dunye

Romance/Mockumentary

Lightning in a bottle only hindered by REALLY bad acting. I can’t hate, though, this is the exact kind of movie I would want to make and it’s inspiring, even as a straight guy, to see the B-movie magic that Cheryl Dunye cooks up.

This movie is a love letter to Black cinema and queerness. I can’t speak on it much without making a fool of myself but I found this to be pretty delightful. 7/10.

Mary Jane’s Not a Virgin Anymore - dir. Sarah Jacobson

Coming-of-Age

Cool shit that I just watched two low-budget slice-of-life bangers from indie female filmmakers in the year 1996 in a row (shoutout Watermelon Woman).

Mary Jane has an unbelievably cool aesthetic going on, transporting you right back to the American Midwest in the 90’s with that grimy style of filmmaking that was so popular back then (which I absolutely adore, and that my dad participated in himself. It doesn’t cover any new ground in the coming-of-age genre but it works in spite of its unoriginality by feeling original in its style and approach.

What made this extra fun was in how much I recognized every character here. They might be from the nineties but these teenage archetypes still exist. When they brought up zines I almost lost my shit because I have a buddy who makes those religiously.

The environment these kids spend time in, the movie theatre, has that same cozy, dingy, communal feel to it that the restaurant in Waiting had. They all shit talk each other but there’s a warmth and closeness to it all that feels inviting. 7/10.

Adaptation. - dir. Spike Jonze

Surrealist Comedy

So Donald’s an obvious metaphor for the playful child brain right? He sees everything as fresh, interesting, curious, and he’s willing to explore ideas freely without inhibition or self-critique or judgment. It’s certainly relatable as a screenwriter but to me it never feels like a particularly satisfying or subversive story. It went exactly where I expected it would, which is head-scratching considering the level Kaufman was operating on in Eternal Sunshine and Being John Malkovich.

I think my absolute favorite scene was the McKee seminar. I’ve read McKee’s work and it’s exactly how I’d envision an interaction with him. I respect his work and contributions to writing but we’d disagree on the fundamentals of a good story, no doubt. That said I would disagree with Kaufman’s character too–stories where nothing happens aren’t actually ever about ‘nothing’. Just because a story features no setpieces doesn’t mean nothing happens. I fucking hate when people say that shit. Even movies where ‘nothing happens’ feature a thematic or emotional through-line that the audience can get invested in, even if its more cerebral or subconscious than your usual Hollywood drivel. If your story lacks conflict of any kind, it’s a waste of my time.

Screenwriting is a pain in the fucking ass. Writing, really, can be so unpleasant if you approach it the way most writers do. With self-imposed perfectionism and grandiosity and pretension. When I let my playful child determine the pace, that’s where my best writing occurs. 7/10.

Her - dir. Spike Jonze

Sci-Fi/Romance

Think I might be the biggest asshole of all time because yeah I was close to crying because of the score and I’m still slapping a 7/10 on this bitch. I don’t care. I don’t think having tearjerker music is enough to convince me that this is not nearly as deep and profound as it could be.

I feel bad because almost all of my mutuals seem to be emotionally devastated by this movie, so I mean no disrespect. If this hits for you, it hits. For me it just simply did not hit on that level. It was a vibey experience, and I enjoy the soft futuristic indie aesthetic quite a bit, even if it reminds me of a car commercial. What Scarlett Johansson is able to convey through voice alone is crazy impressive, probably the single best performance I’ve ever seen from her yet (haven’t seen Marriage Story though… we’ll see).

Spike Jonze is able to pack a lot of emotion into his movies but I wonder how much of it is actual writing and how much of it comes down to his admittedly brilliant use of music. Where the Wild Things Are is a perfect marriage of both of these and I consider it his master work, though it seems to be his least popular film, which is curious to me. In my opinion it’s the best exploration of psychology and emotion he’s ever done, far more raw and earnest than Her. 7/10.

The Iron Claw - dir. Sean Durkin

Sports/Historical

The power of brotherhood is not enough to save this movie, which goes from a solid character study of four brothers to a Wikipedia article of tragedy in the second act. A promising start is left puking its bowels out in increasingly desperate attempts to appeal to pathos. I was also not a fan of just how ham-fisted the dialogue was numerous times throughout the movie.

Be that as it may, I still found some value to be gleaned in the performances of Zac Efron and the camera work. Compared to most other biopics I actually found the cinematography to be informative, kinetic, and intentional. The visual language of wrestling is communicated clearly and in all its schlock and glory. 5/10.

Breaking Glass - dir. Brian Gibson

Music/Drama

Capitalism chews art up, digests it, and then vomits it back up for seconds. Breaking Glass is an age-old story of stardom as a corrupting force told over the backdrop of British societal discontent. A money-driven manager falls in love with the ideals of the punk singer, and simultaneously the punk singer is seduced by the promise of fortune and fame, hastened by the realization that her ideals are no match for the turgid, carnivorous jaws of fascism. 6/10.

The Old Oak - dir. Ken Loach

Drama

A remarkable, uplifting celebration of solidarity and community. Proof that you can make a leftist movie that isn’t obnoxious, ham-fisted, and cringeworthy. Hate to be this guy but liberals could learn a thing or two from Ken Loach.

Expected to be bored by this movie but I was blown away by its steadfast maturity and objective camerawork. Loach is not subtle about his beliefs and this film certainly has an agenda but it never feels like I’m having an ideology crammed down my throat. Politics and art are interlinked, yet meaningfully analyzing socioeconomic conditions proves to be very difficult for modern filmmakers, who just can’t help but pander to the lowest common denominator to make their points. I find the exploitation of progressive values for profit to be VERY annoying.

Old Oak sidesteps all of that under the careful lens of Loach. My only critique of this film is that it doesn’t portray the Syrians with as much complexity as the Brits; I felt there could’ve been more scenes elaborating on the difficulty of assimilation for the Muslim refugees. Cultural barriers would of course pose an obstacle to the our characters and I feel this could’ve been explored in greater depth.

Nevertheless, as an examination of this particular community of working class British families, Loach is superb in his analysis, highlighting the complex relationship between these two different classes (and degrees of privilege) of proletariat. The working class Brits are pushed down and treated like shit so they have a hard time being charitable to these newcomers. While the bigotry is uncomfortable to watch, I feel Loach’s approach worked to help me understand everybody’s position, even those of the most vile characters.

This movie, above all else, is a mature, intelligent breath of fresh air in modern cinema and I sincerely wish it got more attention and more love. A 3.5 average while some absolute garbage 2023 movies are sitting around 4 star range is absurd to me. 8/10.

Man Facing Southeast - dir. Eliseo Subiela

Sci-Fi/Psychological

I can’t say this film was unoriginal in its approach to the human condition, though I can absolutely say it felt like a chore to get through. Every metaphor is so obvious and in-your-face, like the whole Jesus Christ motif–it’s literally just outright stated by the characters a few times. There’s even a scene near the end where Rantes asks Denis why he’s abandoned him, which is about as clear as allusions go. Some interesting ideas here about sanity and psychology though, for sure. 4/10.

Submarine - dir. Richard Ayoade

Coming-of-Age/Black Comedy

Notes of Rushmore and Harold and Maude. This will appeal to people who self-identify as ‘quirky’, though perhaps not as annoying as the rest of the ‘quirky’ canon.

The underwater motif was sort of interesting, I guess. It strikes themes I’ve seen before, of connection and love in absurd circumstances (see Harold and Maude), but doesn’t speak to me as intensely as its predecessors. I’m also just not a fan of the soundtrack. It’s cute but it’s like the most generic cookie-cutter Sundance folk you’ve ever heard. Cat Stevens is still the coming-of-age soundtrack GOAT. 5/10.

Before Sunrise - dir. Richard Linklater

Romance/Mumblecore

Unreal movie. Unreal. Just unreal.

Why didn’t this happen to me when I was in Australia??

Well, obviously it’s because I’m not Ethan Hawke. That much is clear. He is still literally me though. Fr. No doubt about that.

I’m glad everyone on this site finds the listening booth scene just as enchanting as I did, but the scene that spoke to me most was actually the final interaction between the two of them. On each of their faces you could see the thousands of emotions firing at once, how much longing and sorrow there was to say goodbye.

Relatable. Very relatable.

I could tell a story here, similar to what I did for my Shithouse review, about an ex-girlfriend of mine, but I don’t want to be THAT guy.

I REALLY don’t want to be that guy. 9/10.

Before Sunset - dir. Richard Linklater

Romance/Mumblecore

Elevating this film over its predecessor, if only by a slight margin, is the heightened sense of tension and regret. This palpably causes a rift in communication between our two lead characters and it had me by the balls for the entire runtime. As relatable as Sunrise was, it doesn’t wrench my soul out of its socket nearly as deeply as Sunset–and for good reason. I like films about regret, weariness, and longing wistfulness. I like films that make me uncomfortable; Sunset, unafraid to delve its characters into the throes of their thirties, challenges me to my core. It presents ideas that are existentially horrifying with painstaking simplicity. Dreams of missed opportunities and spending an entire marriage wishing, no–YEARNING for a do-over, for the chance to escape.

It makes me wonder how many of these moments I’ve glanced over, avoided, left the proverbial car for, the way Celine attempts to do before Jesse forces her to sit with her own emotions instead of give way to avoidance. Jesse, for all his faults and flaws, hasn’t allowed himself to grow cynical the way Celine has. His book preserves, in some small way, his youthful naivete, his romanticism, and his undying belief in Celine as a soulmate.

I found this movie incredibly interesting because in the first movie I related more to Jesse. And don’t get me wrong, I still do–my girlfriend and I watched this movie and she thought it was absolutely hilarious how similar we were (besides the fact that he is of course Ethan fucking Hawke) in mannerisms and personality–but in this film I found myself identifying closely with Celine. Seeing the two movies back to back is such a rewarding experience because it rewards you for paying attention to little tidbits, like in the first movie Celine says she believes in reincarnation, whereas here she doesn’t believe in jack shit.

The first movie has this dreamlike quality that is all but missing from Sunset, which feels less like a romantic fantasy and more like a reckoning of the fantasy with reality. Nothing wondrous here, it’s just two people in their thirties trying to make sense of the fact that they’re still holding on to a romance that lasted less than twenty-four hours almost a decade ago. 10/10.

Before Midnight - dir. Richard Linklater

Romance/Mumblecore

On some level, I can understand the more divisive response this final installment got in comparison to its two precursors. Each sequential film in the trilogy kind of strips back the dreamy romanticism until you’re left with something that resembles not the idealistic fantasies of children in their twenties, but the cold hard reality of long-term commitment, and the resentment that stews when issues go unaddressed.

The fact of the matter is that I fully believe that this is the Jesse and Celine of the two previous films. Celine is still avoidant, Jesse still lives in the clouds. Their arguments remind me of my parents, actually. Maybe that says something about my idea of relationships (on second thought, it definitely does), but my point is that I’ve never shied away from the conflict inherent to every long-term relationship. I’ve never viewed it as something to be fearful of, to avoid, to react in horror to. The movie made me anxious, but it’s still shocking to me to see how many people professed a loss of faith in the idea of romance just because Celine and Jesse don’t have this cutesy perfect vision of a marriage in their forties.

Basically what I’m saying is–grow the fuck up.

No, seriously. Whether you like it or not, this IS the natural culmination of the trilogy, and maybe the pinnacle of what it has to offer as a whole. Screw the perfection of Before Sunrise, toss aside the fantastical Before Sunset. They’re incredible films, no doubt, but BEFORE MIDNIGHT is, in my mind, the defining film in the love story of Jesse and Celine. You want to fall in love with a stranger? You want to leave your family for the stranger in ten years? Sure. You can have that. But here are the consequences.

A lot of us are deathly afraid of reality. That’s why we’re obsessed with movies. We crave the escape, the fantasy. Before Midnight refuses to let you do that. It forces you to sit in the painful awkwardness of resentment, borne out of love and flaws alike.

Many seem to think that Before Midnight is like a bucket of cold water to the face, a waking slap from a dream, but I actually think it’s the opposite. I think it’s a medication; a necessary final ingredient to a cocktail of reverie and beautiful bullshit that shows us that love is NOT easy. Love is NOT all there is, and love CANNOT survive without nourishment, care, perseverance, and sincerity. We want the idyllic daydream of Before Sunrise and Before Sunset–but what we NEED is the realness of Before Midnight. 10/10.

The Pleasure of Being Robbed - dir. Josh Safdie

Mumblecore

Inconsequential, still cute. I’m a sucker for film grain mumblecore New York shit so this was never going to be anything less than three stars but it didn’t manage to say much or provoke me in any way. 6/10.

John Wick: Chapter 2 - dir. Chad Stahelski

Action

Not my thing at all but fun to watch with friends. 4/10.

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum - dir. Chad Stahelski

Step up in its action sequences but again this is like so far from what I enjoy in movies that there was almost no way this would be anything more than a 5/10. I just do not care about action that much unless it’s crazy unique like Eega. 5/10.

Suzaku - dir. Naomi Kawase

Breathtaking at points, quietly devastating in others, Suzaku is a strong and self-assured debut feature from Naomi Kawase, whose selected filmography I intend to explore in the next month or so.

She popped up on my radar when my best friend recommended the movie Sweet Bean to me, and it softly made its way into my heart. It’s a mellow-paced character study imbued with themes of tradition, spirituality, and appreciation of the finer details. I got the sense that Kawase was an artist with a keen desire to explore humanity on a microscopic and generational level. Suzaku is, by all accounts, a portrait of a family, but I feel there is never enough closeness with each character to truly feel like a character study in the Sweet Bean did–and in that sense I view Suzaku as a broader statement on the changing landscape of Japan, and the adaptations that the locals must make to keep up.

It feels like a melancholic love letter to a bygone era of Japanese rurality, a eulogy for a family swallowed by modernization. 7/10.

Daddy Longlegs - dir. Safdie Brothers

The Safdie brothers made a name for themselves with the anxiety-inducing, palpitating Uncut Gems, but their collaborative debut, on its surface, wouldn’t appear to have much in resemblance. That is, it wouldn’t, until you get to the second half and you realize just how batshit crazy and stressful Lenny is to be around. It’s hard not to like him in spite of it, though, because Ronald Bronstein is constantly pouring his heart and soul into the character to the point where you feel bad for the guy for being such a massive fuckup. 8/10.

Tyrannosaur - dir. Paddy Considine

Hilariously stupid movie. It’s the kind of thing I would’ve written when I was 12. 1/10.

Heaven Knows What - dir. Safdie Brothers

Dirt under fingernails type of movie. The Safdie bros further hone their style here, now featuring kinetic spurts of electronic ambiance to escalate your heart rate. I never felt attached to any of these characters, but there is undoubtedly a vision here. 7/10.

Good Time - dir. Safdie Brothers

The characters that occupy the urban hell of the Safdie brothers can never stop moving. They’re like sharks that have to keep swimming just so they don’t sink, and usually–not always, but usually–the camera leaves them in freefall, we cut to credits or to something seemingly insignificant, and their stories are left tantalizingly unresolved.

Connie cannot stop swimming, no matter what. If he stops for a moment, everything will implode. It is with this philosophy that the Safdies engineer their scripts. Nothing stops moving; not the camera, not people’s mouths, not the characters. You feel stressed watching their work because there is never any rest, any moment of contemplation in between the tense scenes. Most scripts are paced in a way that spaces out their climactic, action-packed moments, but with the Safdies, a nerve-wracking scene can go on for twenty minutes, then morph into something somehow even more nail-biting, leaving you perpetually in midair–just like Connie. 8/10.